Phoney viagra seized at Nine Elms Market, Daily Mail gets hard-on

Last week I blogged about a visit I made to Nine Elms Sunday Market. The large police presence and the seizure of counterfeit goods caught my eye. Tipped off by plod, the Mail ran with the story later in the week.

Viagra always makes a great subject as it allows papers like the Mail to be slightly prurient and indulge in a spot of innuendo. Viagra: Raising more than suspicion!

But even the mighty Daily Mail no longer employs the number of journalists it did, so no reporter will have been sent to cover the story. The facts came from Queenstown Police and the story will have been written by a hack back at their HQ in Kensington.

But, here’s the problem, with a story like this you need quotes from punters.

So, a witness at the scene apparently told the Mail: ‘Someone could have bought that perfume and it could (have) caused harm to someone’s skin, but if it was something taken orally like medication it could have had catastrophic events’. Trust me no one, and I mean no one, talks like that down Nine Elms. Taken orally? Give over.

And this: But one shopper said counterfeit goods were ‘rife at stall after stall’. No one in the history of the world has used the word ‘rife’ at New Covent Garden.

You don’t think the Mail made up these quotes, do you? Perish the thought.

The Unwelcome Guest: Slight Return

Those of you who have been reading this blog for a while will know that at the end of last year I was diagnosed with prostate cancer. I’ve been blogging about it under the title: The Unwelcome Guest.

People are very kind and often ask how I’m doing and the answer is I’m doing fine. I went to see my oncologist yesterday (boy, I hate those seven words) and my progress is good. I’m on a particular form of therapy to shrink the tumour and a blood test that gives an indication as to how that’s going was encouraging. My PSA level came out at 0.8 and all you need to know is that I started out on 5 so I’m well on the way to the highly desirable zero. The joys of radiotherapy will have to wait until September. End of cancer update: Regular ‘A Little London Life’ flim-flam will resume.

Vauxhall Park model village gets suffragette makeover

The tiny houses in the Rose Garden of Vauxhall Park are getting a makeover. Nobby, aided by his trusty dog Sandy, said he was giving the crofts and cottages a lick of paint in the suffragette colours of purple, green and white.

Why the suffragette colours? February of this year saw the 100th anniversary of the Representation of the People Act 1918 which enabled all men and some women over the age of 30 to vote for the first time and paved the way for universal suffrage 10 years later. Vauxhall Park has a connection.

Henry Fawcett (1833-1884) lived in a grand house on the site of the park. He was a Member of Parliament and was blinded at the age of 25 when shot by his father’s gun while the pair were out partridge shooting. Clearly a determined man he became Post Master General, started the parcel post and encouraged women to work at the Post Office.

It was Fawcett’s wish to turn his garden into a communal park after his death. His wife, Millicent Fawcett, made it happen. Involved in the suffragette movement, she became president of the National Union of Woman’s Suffrage Societies in 1897. She also founded Newnham College Cambridge. Quite the power couple.

Talking with Nobby (or Nobby the Grab, to give him his full name) while he was taking a break from the painting and decorating, he told me the houses were made in 1948 by Edgar Wilson who sent a set of 30 to Melbourne, Australia by way of thanks for the food packages sent to us during the war. Next time you’re down under you can take a look.

There are also a couple of tiny detached houses in Brockwell Park near the clock tower.

As to the ones in Vauxhall, local hoodlums used to nick them until Nobby came up with the brilliant idea of filling them with sand and rocks so making them too heavy to shift. There’s only one original ‘Boat House’ left, the other two were made by the man himself. I should point out that Nobby does this on a purely volunteer basis, so if you see him about he deserves a big thank you.

Nine Elms Sunday Market

Nine Elms Lane SW8 5AL: 9am-2pm

New Covent Garden Market is just over the road from the Battersea Power Station development. It’s the fruit and veg capital of the UK with produce coming in from all parts of the globe and then being shipped out to all parts of the UK. During the week, from the very early hours, it reverberates to the shouts of barrow boys, the squeal of fork lift trucks and the thunder of departing trucks. On a Sunday, the nation’s greengrocers get a day off and it becomes one of the biggest markets in London.

The day I went, the sun was beating down, prices were being beaten down, police were clamping down and the new US Embassy was gazing down on Nine Elms Sunday Market. It was my first visit in years.

Superficially, not much seems to have changed. If anything, it’s even busier, perhaps there are more Slavic and Russian accents and a few more Polish stalls than before. It’s still very much a working-class event, with a high proportion of immigrants both buying and selling. New Covent Garden on a Sunday is a world away from the old Covent Garden in the West End. There’s no artisan cheese, craft gin or organic chocolate on sale here.

Perhaps the biggest surprise is the sizeable police presence. I chatted to a few of them but in true plod tradition they were keeping it pretty tight lipped. In total I guess there were about twenty police officers present made up of two groups. One were officers impounding counterfeit goods – I saw at least two clothing and handbag stalls being closed down – the other group were police supporting Immigration Enforcement officers from the Home Office who were clearly tracking immigration offenders. They were in urgent conversation with various individuals, but I didn’t witness any arrests. Talking with stallholders and punters, it seems that in the last two weeks the police presence has risen sharply. Checking for fake goods and fake IDs looks like hot work for those who go to work in a stab proof vest.

So, what’s the shopping like? Arming myself with an excellent flat white from ‘Full of Beans’ (which came with a complementary choc chip cookie) I went in search of bargains. Trainers are a big sell with brand names such as Vans going for £20. Whether these are real or of real interest to the police I couldn’t say. Builders’ kit is clearly a big draw with men coming from all over to get tooled up with electric saws, drills, spirit levels and the rest.

If you want to take a break from shopping, check out the many global food outlets. Curry and Chips (see above), that’s fusion cooking Nine Elms style. Then there are several ‘Head Shops’ where those with an interest in illegal weed can score their rizlas and other cannabis related paraphernalia.

Inevitably, stalls sell electrical items such as mobile phones, second hand laptops, satellite dishes and there’s no end of clothing, mostly T shirts, jeans and sports shirts and it has to be said a fair amount of plastic junk. Get your dodgy cigarettes and tobacco on the way in.

Many people clearly love the place and use it as a popular day out to meet friends, have a bite to eat and pick up some bargains. It’s not posh, plush or pretty but it is cheap, and the place has a real energy about it. I accept some won’t like it, but it’s here, it’s on our patch, and you should take a look.

Fancy running a stall yourself? Here the low-down: A 3×3 metre pitch costs from £55 a day and you can hire tables and other market gear to display your goods. All new traders have to register and provide some form of photographic identification such as driving license or passport. Casual traders must go to the market office at 6.30am. Once you’ve registered and paid, you will be given a pitch for the day. If you want a permanent pitch, then that’s the time to ask. A regular pitch is cheaper and means you are in the same place every week, so your customers know where to find you. Contact: info@saundersmarkets.co.uk. Tel: 01483 277640